Saturday, July 10, 2010


Oh my.. I have 3 sadly ignored blogs..
1 for personal, 1 for Etsy/crafts, and 1 for cooking..

I'm hoping that by condensing these into 1,
maybe they won't be so sadly ignored...

So for more blogged fun,
please go to my

I will tag the posts that are family related for those that
want to skip to the parts about our crazy life!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

What's Going On

I'm happy to say that we've had a drama-free life for a few weeks now.
The pregnancy is going great; we have our 12 week visit this Monday.
I have more energy and less nauseous days.
And somehow our sweet Isabelle turned 2!?
She was plenty excited for her "par-tay"!
She woke up at 5AM day of asking for
We had close to 20 kids under the age of 10.
It was loud, it was chaotic, and it was a blast!!
We also took her to see Disney-On-Ice the day before her actual birthday.
Life is good once again.
Tomorrow we are going to church for the first Sunday in years.
(Thomas' schedule is temporarily Mon-Fri)
Then we are off to visit the Easter Bunny.
Will there be tears or squeals??
Lots of other fun things,
but (I'm at work..tee hee)
I'll be better about blogging now that life is a normal state of chaos..
And *tons* of pics on Flickr..

Friday, March 5, 2010

Docs Says..

The biopsy did not show any cancer cells. My doctor is going to see me again in 6 weeks and possibly do another biopsy (this I figured).
For now the BIG C is off my plate and I'm backing to focusing on my little growing family!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Lessons Learned

I thought when Isabelle was born and I worried every night
about SIDS for the first year of her life,
that I understood life is vulnerable.

I thought when we lost the baby last October that I finally
understood that life is vulnerable.

I didn't know squat.

When we found out this January that we were pregnant again,
we tried hard to squash our fears of another miscarriage.
We told anyone that would listen that we were to be parents again in October 2010.
We told ourselves we would not live in fear.
I proudly made a "Big Sister" cape for Isabelle.

This past Thursday I had my first ultrasound,
and I finally exhaled.
The beautiful baby had a heartbeat.
He was measuring exactly to the day where he was supposed to.

I went in later that afternoon for my actual OB visit.
And that is when I realized my morning had been the calm
before the storm.

There was something wrong with my thyroid.
Given my mother's own battle with thyroid cancer,
my OB ordered a number of tests to rule out cancer.

When I asked her what were all the possible scenarios.
She told me:
* it could be nothing
* it could be hypo or hyper
(both of which would only complicate my high risk pregnancy more)
* it could be cancer and she couldn't guarantee the baby's survival.

I was eerily calm while they removed
vial after vial of blood from my arm.
I cried quietly as they ran an ultrasound on my thyroid.
I begged for information from the ultrasound tech.
I bargained with a quiet God for my baby's life.

I waited 24 hours to hear that the blood work was normal.
I accepted that I worry to much.
I was chagrined with myself for being so negative.
I went on with life.

My mother called early Monday morning to remind me
to call her with the ultrasound results.
I had honestly put it out my head.
I knew that normal blood work didn't mean anything about cancer.
I went on with my morning.
I was consumed with life.
How many orders did I need to complete, did we have enough milk,
would Isabelle panic when Thomas worked that night..

And then the phone rang.
The nurse apologized first for having to be the one to call me.
The ultrasound didn't look good;
it was time for the next doctor.

The radiology report stated that
*there was (1) thyroid nodule - this is not a good sign
* that it was solid - this is not a good sign
* that it was about 2cm - guess what, another not good sign

I was calm.
I panicked.
I cried while Isabelle napped.
I cried while Isabelle played with Thomas in the other room.
I prepared myself that it could be cancer.
I glued myself to my laptop and researched until there
were no more Kleenex in the house.

Would they want to perform surgery before delivery?
Surgery could harm the baby's growth,
it could create premature labor at a time that baby wouldn't survive,
our baby could die...

Would I be able to get pregnant again after surgery?
The magical internet 8-ball said
that all signs point to no.

I spent the night wrangling a distraught toddler
that probably sensed my gloom and preoccupation.

Today I went to see doctor #2.
I expected to go over the results, again.
I expected to have a few weeks to wait before the biopsy.
I expected to be on pins & needles for a few weeks for results.

Luckily they did the fine needle test today.
Luckily the doctor said a surprising amount was liquid, NOT solid.
Luckily the type of cancer my mother had
is not connected to a hereditary gene.
Luckily the doctor said 85 out of 100 people
would receive a cancer-free phone call.

We are hoping to have results on Friday.
I work a full day on Thursday and Friday.
I am grateful that I will be distracted by
gum-smacking patrons that can't remember if "fiction" is true or not.

Dear God, I do understand how vulnerable life is.

I'm done with the lessons and
I would like a big slice of boring for
at least the next year.

Thank you.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Medical Hiatus

My blogs will be on a medical hiatus for the near future.

The baby is safe, but there is a nodule in/on my thyroid.

Right now my hands are full with morning sickness, Isabelle,
and a growing list of medical appointments.

I'm still on Facebook with updates and occasionally on Twitter.

Hope to be back soon!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010